"He has an ambitious combover"
my friend describing one of this family friends saying one of the most descriptive two word phrase i’ve heard
- me: ic
- not sure if i should eat something or not
- since i had like two lunches
- B: ic
- eat a heavy snack
- me: hm
- pizza rolls perhaps
- but that means going down stairs
- and i am tired
- B: ...
- me: give me some slack
- i exercisedddddd
- but still kind of wnat something too...
- i wish you were here
- B: hi
- me: and then you could go get me some pizza rolls and cucumbers
- B: ...
- me: and i would be so happy
- B: started out sweet
- then it became notably less sweet
- me: started out sweet
- and then became savory
- the best kind of change
brush your teeth
- E: man i've bspent so much money at the dentist this year lol
- me: What else happened?
- E: no9thing. nothin much otehr than that filing i told youa bout, but i got the deep cleaning, the exrays *xrays, evaluation of teeth
- me: Deep cleaning? Did you have gingivitis?
- E: yea or periodntialdontis so they gave me periomed. i started flossing daily, and brushing both sides of my teeth, but i stopped using the periomed cause it stains apparently
- me: ....... You didn't brush both sides? Did you just brush the outside of the teeth?
- E: and tops/
- me: You didn't know you were supposed to brush the insides?
- E: lol, well i guess id id i just nver really did
- me: And your previous dentist never said anything
- E: i guess it wasn't a huge problem until recnetly, maybe he was just a bad dentist
- me: Icic, But maybe it's a good thing to take the full course of your periodontitis meds, stained teeth are still better than having teeth falling out due to bone loss
- **Note: This is a well educated engineer who graduated from a top university who has grown up with dental insurance. I didn't know this was an issue. So just in case anyone who reads this and didn't know you were supposed to brush the insides as well as the sides you can see, Yes. You are supposed to brush all over you mouth, including all sides of your teeth, gums, and tongue.
Last Friday after class, I went out to eat w/ some classmates. The people being available to go who hadn’t eaten yet ended up being me and 5 other guys. During the course of the conversation, someone (guy1) brought up how they didn’t like one of our instructors saying “she’s so emotional and dramatic. It’s really not professional” . If he had left it there, I wouldn’t have minded as much, but he continued on say how hormones make women so unstable, and one guy (guy2) chimed in saying sometimes if he’s arguing with his gf, he’ll think about it and then ask if it’s that time of the month to her, and when she (inevitably) gets more angry from that he said he’ll be like “ohhh~ and then back off and not waste anymore of his efforts”
Maybe you can see how this would bother me. When I raised my brows saying “all women?”, guy1 was like like “Okay, maybe not all women, but a majority of them. It’s a numbers game” To me it seems like he was saying women = dramatic/emotional, and dramatic/emotional = unprofessional; therefore, women = unprofessional. If many other men in the dental field think this way, I feel like my professionality will be questioned just because I am a woman. Additionally dismissing what a woman is saying based on your thoughts of where she is in her menstrual cycles is just messed up. Essentially when you ask a woman in the middle of the discussion unrelated to the topic on hand whether or not she’s on her period, you’re saying that you deem her argument or whatever they’re saying as irrational and unfounded—a much more subtle and insidious way of calling her crazy (another word I hate that is often used to label women). Also, I realized how irksome I find it when people describe a menstruating or premenstrual woman that her hormones are “unbalanced/out of whack” or “hormonal.” No it’s not imbalanced or out of whack. Unless there’s an endocrine disorder, it’s a perfectly normal and well regulated by female bodies. I resent being spoken to and being spoken about as if I’m “unbalanced” 1/4 of the time. It’s as if I’m being called mentally unbalanced a 1/4 of the time.
Another guy (guy3) brings the issue back to the first guy pointing out how dramatic and emotional he is getting about disliking this instructor to which he replies, “No, I just get passionate about things easily. it’s different.” In both cases he was referring to showing strong feelings, yet women are dramatic, and he was passionate. I failed to see the difference of feelings he had towards the teacher and those the teacher had towards him. I was getting very frustrated that they didn’t understand the sexism, so another guy (guy4) honestly tries to calm both parties down and says, “Ok, ok, let me be a peacekeeper here, and give a compromise. Women are not necessarily dramatic or emotional, but it’s just harder for them not to be.” I appreciated his thoughts, but it was like just no. Just no. Guy5 who is later joined by guy3 sees me getting frustrated at all this and decides to poke fun at me saying, “Come on, you don’t have to be so dramatic and emotional.” Being the party that is hurt or offended puts you immediately on an uneven playing ground. There is an imbalance of emotional investment, and in my opinion whoever is more emotionally invested generally comes out more scathed. You’re always on the defense and have to justify to your offenders why they said is wrong, but they can just easily laugh you off or just decide to change the topic because it’s no big deal to them.
It was all just very frustrating. This was also compounded by the fact that it was a 5vs1 situation where I was trying (apparently ineffectively) to articulate my point and ideas. Talking with Guy1, by the 3rd time he said. “This is just what I believe” when I was trying to tell him how it was wrong to say the blanket statement that women are dramatic and emotional and thus less professional in the a teaching environment, I realized, there just was no convincing him, so I said, “I believe you’re wrong,” and gave up. This probably was the most frustrating thing and left a bitter taste in my mouth—I could not make myself understood.
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